Health Secretary, Andrew Lansley, every day looking more and more like Herman Munster, must be odds-on to win the Nobel Prize for Self-Delusion.

As medical organisations plough their way through the online thesaurus to find fresh ways to criticise NHS privatisation, Lansley relentlessly defends his belief that the future of medicine lies in lovely fat profits.

Presumably raised by a flock of Ostriches, he’s been using skills honed during childhood to keep his head firmly stuck in the sand.

With the BMA denouncing the plans as ‘incoherent and not fit for purpose’ (which just about sums up most of us at the Narcotic Lollipop), opposition to the Government’s love of privatisation is reaching fever pitch.

Assisted by recent suggestions that the Police are next in line for a visit from outsourcing drones and men with calculators.

With the Police Federation of England and Wales saying the ‘privatisation proposals would jeopardise the chance of successful investigations and convictions’, it can’t be too long before we see the ‘destruction of the finest police service in the world’.

And, knowing the multinational corporation’s love of dipping fat fingers into lucrative pies, in its place we’ll find policing services contracted out to the likes of McDonald’s and drinks giant, Diageo.

Leading to the incarceration of legions of thin people and the widespread arrest of citizens for being sober and orderly.