Well-known Communist agitator, Sir Mervin King, has taken time out from his busy schedule running the Bank of England to put the boot into the banking sector and their powerful lobbying chums.
Sir Merv, who appeared before the Treasury Select Committee wearing an ‘I heart Stalin’ t-shirt and draped in an enormous red hammer and sickle flag, opened the proceedings by standing to sing several verses of old Soviet favourite, ‘I’ve got a very old combine harvester, and the bloody thing keeps breaking down’.
The Governor then took his seat and launched into a vicious and unprovoked attack on the supposedly malign behaviour of our saintly financial institutions.
His suggestion that banks had de facto written government policy under the last Labour administration and his mendacious assertion that they are currently attempting to profit at taxpayers’ expense, shows King to be at the heart of a dangerous left-wing conspiracy.
King, who graduated from the infamous University of Moscow with a first in Economics and Beetroot Production, became increasingly agitated as his accusations of City wrongdoing grew more and more outlandish.
Finishing with a pledge that he would not rest easy until City of London highways run deep with the warm blood of capitalist dogs, the Bank of England Governor was last seen heading towards Highgate cemetery with a large bunch of flowers and a leather-bound copy of Das Kapital…